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Your Lazy Ass Will Feel Validated By These 5 Bits By Standup Comedians

By DA Staff 29 April 2019

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Standup comedy is a strange sort of profession. When you’re not anxiously wondering WTF you’re doing with your life, there’s a lot of sitting around thinking of funny things to say. Only to go up on stage at night, say them out loud and find out they aren’t. And then you do the same thing the next day. And again. And again. Or so they’d have you believe, anyway.

Either way, it’s hardly surprising that comedians can often be lazy AF, or project personas that’ll have you believe as much. And of course the subject makes it into their sets.

Here are five of the best bits on slothfulness that’ll validate your own lazy ass.

1. Sumit Anand takes afternoon naps in the morning

Anand’s endearingly sluggish stye works perfectly for this bit, where he explains why people who get out of bed have got it all wrong. “People get up and then get out. Mm-mm. Stay.”

2. Karunesh Talwar’s response to life is to lie down

In his most watched YouTube video yet, Talwar opens with a segment on his profound laziness. “Meri hobby hai letna. Aur passion bhi,” he says. (Lying down is my hobby. And my passion.) He then transitions to a bit about a weight-loss telemarketing call, and then to an extended bit on an Indian contestant on Masterchef Australia.

3. Vaibhav Sethia thinks pants are too much work

Sethia accepts he is overweight but finds it infuriating that people tell him to love his body and be proud of it. And while he deigned to wear pants for this show, normally he abhors wearing them. “Kyun karoon mein itni mehnat?” he says indignantly.

4. Kanan Gill gives an honest answer to the interview question, “What do you do in your free time?”

We’ve all been there. At interviews, where, after satisfying themselves that you’re perfect for the job, a potential employer tries to find out whether you’re a well-rounded individual. Well you’re not, and what Gill does in his spare time will sound painfully (or deliciously) familiar.

Amazon Prime Video subscribers can watch the special here:

5. American comic Gary Gulman explains why it’s so difficult to get out of bed in the morning.

If you’re a truly committed slob, Gulman’s bit will warm your heart, as he talks about sleeping from 11 pm to 1.52 pm (“I slept through an entire M”), the huge difference between waking up and getting up and the nearly insurmountable challenges of doing laundry.

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