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You Got 99 Problems… But Kaneez Surka’s Solving Them For You

By Mihika Jindal 16 April 2019

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We all have our own reasons to love Kaneez Surka for the talent she is. But the thing that brings all her fans together are her adorable attempts to speak in Hindi. And she’s only speaking in Hindi in her Agony Aunt-style show from back in the day, Mujhe Ask Karo—a series where you could ‘ask karo’ Surka your problems and she would be more than willing to offer solutions and tips, to be followed through at your own risk.

Delivered in what is now her signature style of accented and incorrect Hindi, she posted four videos three years ago, and then vanished off the scene leaving us high and dry just as we had started to rely on her unending support with our lives.

But genuine prayers do get answered. We had been meaning to nudge Surka to bring Mujhe Ask Karo back, but before we could say anything, she posted five more videos for us to binge-watch. These videos, albeit old (we know this because one of the videos is with Irrfan Khan promoting his 2017 movie Hindi Medium), are enough to get us hoping for more. While we eagerly wait for more, here are our favourites of the bunch:

5. On moving on

To someone who’s trying to get a revenge on his ex-love interest, Surka suggests, “Jeevan jiyo, aakash jumping karo, machhli ke saath tairna karo, aage badho.

4. On work life balance

On balancing your work life, Surka is happy at least someone is addressing this universal issue. Her suggestion is simple though, “Agar zada kaam kare, toh tabiyat neeche ho jaaye aur wajan upar ho. Aur log bolenge chheee, woh itna ganda laga.

3. On being an ace cricketer

Know what it takes to be an ace cricketer? You don’t need to! Surka will tell you all about being a Dhoni, a Kohli or a Sachin.

2. On watching porn

Mummy ne mujhe porn dekhte pakad liya,” is definitely relatable to most, right? If you’re bothered by it, Surka wants you to know that, “Sambhog prakrate hain, yeh sabko karna chahe.

1. On dealing with exam stress

Her most important (and hilarious) advice is on dealing with exams. “Jaldi khana mat khaao jaise KFC, McDonalds, bolo mujhe ninni aaya, aur ninni jaao.” Got it? You’re good to go.

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