Do you want to sleep in on a Saturday? Too bad. Go put up some lights inside the house.

Oh you want to sleep in on Sunday? Too bad. Go put up some lights outside the house.

Next weekend? Nope. Every free moment you have will be spent agonizing over the gifts you must buy.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020

Observation 3: You can buy yourself a gift but you can't stuff your own stocking.

I don't understand this one but I told my roommate I bought stuff for my stocking and they said that's not a thing.

I don't care. I bought myself mint chapstick and I will fake surprise.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020

Observation 5: There are two streams of Christmas ornaments. The "fillers" and the "keepers".

The fillers are the generic ones. The keepers are meant to be more special and unique. This second stream is stored in your family's reliquary to be one day passed on to the children.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020

Observation 6: ORNAMENTS ARE EXPENSIVE.

That cost me $15.99. That's more than three everything bagels. I am furious. For what it cost, you best believe that I am insisting that it be passed on to my great grandchildren. If they break it I will haunt them.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020

Observation 8: You need a "menu".

Yeah… This one is where they lost me. Last Christmas my family ordered Popeyes and watched a movie. My roommate has an entire menu with wine pairings and desserts planned.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020

To wrap things up I want to applaud longtime Christmas celebrators. This is a lot of work and very tiring.

I will say I am having a very pleasant time. I am learning that I enjoy Christmas music and gift purchasing. I am also learning that I do not enjoy peppermint.

— Mohammad Hussain (@MohammadHussain) December 19, 2020