16 Jokes Jimmy Kimmel Made At The Oscars That’ll Make You Forget Your Worries Temporarily

By Shreemi Verma 11 November 2022 4 mins read

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After 2022’s “thappad se darr nahi lagta hai” moment at the Oscars, it looks like the Academy has decided to play it safe by bringing back Jimmy Kimmel to host the ceremonies next year. This will be the late-night talk show host’s third time, joining the rarefied ranks of Jerry Lewis, Steve Martin, Conrad Nagel and David Niven.

Kimmel’s performance received mixed reviews in both 2017 and 2018, but he’s still rated better than Seth MacFarlane and the disastrous “we saw your boobs” bit. As part of his opening monologue at the 2013 Academy Awards, Seth sang a particularly juvenile tune about actresses who have appeared topless onscreen, pointing at those who were in attendance. Yep, good times.

And then there was the James Franco-Anne Hathaway car-crash in 2011. Franco’s abysmal performance inspired this Tina Fey zinger in her opening monologue (alongside co-host Amy Poehler) at the 2013 Golden Globes: “Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Misérables. I have not seen someone totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.”

So yeah, Kimmel does seem to be the most sane choice of the past decade. The first time he hosted the Academy Awards, the Best Picture switcheroo with Moonlight and La La Land dominated the headlines. When he returned in 2018, it was a pretty basic show: no violence, no egregious misogyny, just plain vanilla. Maybe 2023 will be the same? Everyone needs a break from the high drama of the last two years.

Most importantly, despite his passed-out drunk during Quinta Brunson’s acceptance speech gimmick at the Emmys, Kimmel is a funny guy who doesn’t shy away from landing a hit on a bigwig or two. Here are some of his best jokes from the 2017 and the 2018 Oscars:

1. When he attacked Mel Gibson within a minute of his 2017 monologue:

“Mel you look great. I think the Scientology is working, I really do.”

2. When he made this quip on Hidden Figures and La La Land:

“What a night! It has been an amazing year for movies. Black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz.”

3. And gave an honest review of Manchester By The Sea:

“You know if you search for Manchester By The Sea on Amazon, it says: ‘Customers who bought this item also purchased Zoloft.'”

4. A Moonlight sex joke was made:

“The only happy ending of all the nominees was the one in the middle of Moonlight.”

5. And this one sounded like a joke but was it really?

“We don’t discriminate against people based on what countries they come from, we discriminate against them based on their age and weight.”

6. He was just stating facts by this point:

“Andrew Garfield lost 40 pounds — where is Andrew? It was an astonishing physical transformation that hasn’t been attempted since every actress in every role ever.”

7. When he introduced an “overrated” actor perfectly:

“We’re also here to honour the actors who seem great, but actually really aren’t. And of all the ‘great’ actors here in Hollywood, one in particular has stood the test of time for her many uninspiring and overrated performances” —

Imagine saying this about anyone at the Filmfare Awards (it’s just a hypothetical, bhai fans!)

8. And of course, when he paid a fantastic “tribute” to his longtime nemesis of “I’m F*cking Matt Damon” fame, err, Matt Damon:

In case you’re not an old person like the author of this article, here’s the song we’re talking about:

This came out 13 years ago! *sigh*

9. When he said this in his 2018 opening monologue, referencing to the Moonlight and La La Land fiasco:

“I do want to mention this year, when you hear your name called, don’t get up right away. Give us a minute…”

Look at Jennifer Lawrence laughing at Emma Stone, I love it.

10. And in the wake of the #MeToo movement, he made this great point:

“Oscar is the most beloved and respected man in Hollywood and there’s a reason why. Just look at him. Keeps his hands where you can see them. Never says a rude word. And most importantly, no penis at all. He is literally a statue of limitations.”

11. Another year, another Mel Gibson joke:

“Here’s how clueless Hollywood is about women. We made a movie called What Women Want and it starred Mel Gibson.”

12. Remember the time we thought the success of Blank Panther and Wonder Woman would bring about a change in Hollywood?

Black Panther and Wonder Woman were massive hits, which is almost miraculous because I remember a time when the major studios didn’t believe a woman or a minority could open a superhero movie. And the reason I remembered that time is because it was March of last year.”

13. When Timothée Chalamet was just a bébé:

“Are you having fun Timothée? This is a big deal. Timothée is missing Paw Patrol to be here tonight.”

14. The time when Armie Hammer was known for Call Me By Your Name and not for allegedly being a cannibal:

“We don’t make movies like Call Me By Your Name for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.”

15. We were served with another solid Meryl Streep burn:

Meryl’s film career started in 1977. The longest she ever went without being nominated was from 1992-1995. And that’s only because those were the years she was in prison.”

16. And finally, he made another much deserved dig at men:

“Thanks to Guillermo [del Toro], we will always remember this year as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.”

Looking forward to what he comes up with next year.


Shreemi Verma


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