Breakups are tough on everyone, for different reasons. On those who’re going through it (are you asking why? Sorry, there’s a word limit on this article), and friends of those who’re going through it because they have to sit through the horror of it with you. But we’ve all been there, done that, been that person. So nobody has judging rights here.

Unless you’re a comedian. Because, as Kunal Kamra famously says, “Kahan milega itna content?”

Let’s hear it from six broken hearts who got zero closure, but lots of laughs:

1. Aakash Gupta – Relationships, Clubbing & Cocktails

For those who declare news of the breakup in public, bitch about their ex (which includes comparing conversations with them to a “narco test”) but still find themselves back where they started: “Jaisi bhi thi, cute thi bahut.”

2. Vivek Muralidharan – Break Ups & How Not To Deal With It

Then there are those, like Muralidharan, who go into the painful details of the pity party they’d thrown themselves (and the pity programming codes they’ve written) post-breakup.

“WHY NEHA, WHY?”
Error NoLuv4U: Closure not found.

3. Kautuk Srivastava – Break Ups & Getting Dumped

There’s also the one who’s obviously telling us how much worse the ex’s current dude is than him.

4. Zakir Khan – Bhai Mera Breakup Ho Gya

No list of Romeos is ever complete without the shaayar/senti types. And for this one we have Zakir Khan (now Haq Se Single), who explains how every song, every lyric makes SO much more sense when you’ve just broken up. And how your bhais help you recover.

5. Rahul Subramanian – Break Up & MBA

Then there’s the guy who totally knows his way through this hell. Rahul Subramanian takes us through the Indian man’s style of dealing with the obvious stages of a break-up—denial, being buds with the ex’s current partner (?), drunk calling, moving on and then getting an MBA (LOLWUT?!)

6. Abhishek Upmanyu – Breakup, Respecting Elders & Discrimination

And finally, there’s the guy whose grief is so exaggerated, it almost feels like it has nothing to do with the relationship. An onlooker, a friend—Abhishek Upmanyu—points out how a conversation with a bud who has recently (a very subjective term) broken up is bound to ruin your mood. Every. Single. Time. For decades to come.

“Akela hai?”
“Haa yaar…BOHOT”