DeadAnt

Comedy Gold From The Last Decade Of The Golden Globes

By DA Staff 9 January 2023

Spread the love

The Golden Globes are back after a no-show in 2022. The awards ceremony—which honours the best work in cinema and television selected by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association—came under fire in 2021. They were primarily criticised for the lack of Black representation among its members. Now, after a year of introspection and major restructuring, the Globes are back. And this year will be hosted by Jerrod Carmichael, famous for his work in the 2014 comedy Neighbours, his HBO standup specials Love At The Store and Rothaniel (which also made it to our list of Best Specials of 2022).

So, in anticipation of the hot mess this show is going to be, the memes, and the funny tweets it’ll create (which we’ll screenshot and use as Instagram carousels to get followers), we decided to do a little throwback. We sat and watched the opening monologues from 2011 to 2021 and picked out the best, or most relevant joke from each edition. Why did we do that? Because watching Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Ricky Gervais, Seth Meyers and more crack some fantastic jokes is a great way to spend the day.

Also in attendance will be SS Rajamouli, Jr. NTR and Ram Charan thanks to RRR scoring two nominations. The ceremony will be telecast live on 10 January 8 pm ET (11 January, 5.30 am IST) and you can stream it on Lionsgate Play in India. To tide you over until your alarm rings here’s a quick recap of the funniest Golden Globes moments over the last decade.

2011 had Ricky Gervais foreshadowing exactly what the HFPA would get into trouble for

I would like to quash this ridiculous rumour going around that the only reason ‘The Tourist’ was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.

That is rubbish. That is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes.

Gervais was brought back in 2012 to call Harvard graduate Natalie Portman ‘foolish’

Last year, our next presenter won both the Golden Globe and the Oscar for her brilliant performance in Black Swan. This year she took some time out to have a baby.

Consequently, she’s nominated for nothing. Really pathetic.

But she’s learnt that valuable lesson that you already knew, never put family first.

Please welcome the very foolish Natalie Portman. 

In 2013, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were signed on for hosting duties and they opened quite the pandora’s box

This is a great year for film, Kathryn Bigelow nominated tonight.

I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty.

But when it comes to torture...

I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron. 

2014 saw Tina and Amy return, because sometimes the sequels are better than the original and George Clooney deserves some light roasting

Gravity is nominated for Best Film.

It’s a story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die...

than spend one more minute with a woman his own age. 

By 2015, the Golden Globes realised that Tina and Amy deserve a trilogy and George Clooney deserves more roasting

George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year.

Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case.

Was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria.

And was selected for a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip.

So tonight, her husband is getting a Lifetime Achievement award!

Later that night, the two dropped another bomb that made the audience gasp

In (the movie) Into The Woods, Cinderella runs from her Prince. Rapunzel is thrown from a tower.

And Sleeping Beauty just thought she’s getting coffee with Bill Cosby. 

In other news, Cosby is planning to return to standup comedy this year. Sexual assault allegations can *really* ruin a man’s career.

Ricky Gervais was brought back in 2016 to remind people that the Golden Globes are as worthless as India’s IIFA

If you do win tonight, remember that no one cares about that award as much as you do. Don’t get emotional. It’s embarrassing.

That award is, no offence, worthless.

It’s a bit of metal that some nice, old, confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you. 

2017 saw Jimmy Fallon host the show and his opening monologue was so wholesome that this was one of the most biting things he said

We have two-time Golden Globe winner and seven-time nominee Matt Damon here tonight. Of course, we know Matt Damon from his greatest acting role... telling Ben Affleck he likes Batman vs Superman. 

And in 2018, NBC roped in Late Night talk show host Seth Meyers to eviscerate Woody Allen

The Shape Of Water received the most nominations of any film this year.

But I have to admit, when I first heard about a film where a naive young woman falls in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought “oh man, not another Woody Allen movie.”  

2019 saw the unexpected pairing of Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh have a crack at it, and a Black Panther joke that took a dark turn

If you told me as a kid growing up in the Bay, there’d be a movie called Black Panther that starts off in Oakland, this is not what I would have imagined.

Ryan, were there like a bunch of old members of the actual Black Panther party saying, ‘I can’t even get an audition?’

Just kidding. They were all framed and murdered for wanting justice and equality.

The world is and always has been a nightmare, it just seems worse because of our phones.

What else happened this year?  

But by 2020, they went back to the basics with Ricky Gervais to call out the HFPA

Many talented people of colour were snubbed in major categories.

Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that.

The Hollywood Foreign Press are all very very racist. 

And in 2021, as the world was still grappling with Covid-19, they chose to go with the comforting presence of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, to diss the HFPA again

The Golden Globe are awards given out by the Hollywood Press Association.

The HFPA is made up of 90 international, no black journalists who attend movie junkets each year in search of a better life.

We say around 90 because a couple of them might be ghosts.

And it’s rumoured that the German member is just a sausage that somebody drew a little face on. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


DA Staff

Damn straight. Dead Ant has staff. You’d better believe it.

comments

comments for this post are closed