It’s officially Halloween, and this year the COVID-19 pandemic and the US election have ensured that we’re in for the spookiest spooky season in a long time. But now that you’re stuck at home anyway, why not grab some popcorn, order a spiced pumpkin latte, and watch a bunch of fantastic comics fight their fears… with punchlines. Our treat.

1. Kevin Hart is Scared of Ostriches (and Dolphins)

Kevin Hart’s hilarious high-speed anecdotes of a “big pigeon” that chased him and made him cry, and being terrorised by a racist dolphin.

2. Trevor Noah is Scared of (Some) Languages

In his set from the Just For Laughs festival in 2015, Trevor Noah talks about his fear of the Russian accent and the Arabic language.

3. Dan Soder is Scared Of Being Mugged

He’s no longer scared of young people being covered in tattoos, but when Soder first moved to New York City, he was scared of being mugged every time he left the house. His coping mechanism? Faking a Russian accent.

4. Drew Lynch is (literally) scared of spiders

A spider “attacks” (it was just there tbh) Drew Lynch in the middle of his show, which leads to a hilarious high-pitched meltdown, live. “DID YOU SEE THE WAY IT MOVED?” he squeals, slamming himself against the wall, between improvised jokes to keep the audience on his side.

5. Jenny Slate Is Scared of Waking Her Mom Up

It’s bad telling anyone about your dream the next day, but if you’re actually going to wake someone up to soothe you after a nightmare, Slate suggests being 100% sure. Things to watch for: “pain in your body from fear”, feeling like you’re “literally gonna die” and making it to safely to a pitch-back hall.

6. Andrew Schulz is scared of heights

There is absolutely no need to confront your fears, Schulz argues.

7. Jimmy Fallon is Afraid of… Well, Everything

The title says it all, really. You’d be surprised at how satisfying it is to see Jimmy Fallon just freak out for two minutes straight.