We’re three-fourths of another year into our lives and if you haven’t yet bailed on your fitness resolutions we’re willing to bet any sum of money that you’ve exercised more than three-fourths of us ever will. Here’s a treat for you! For the ones that did bail on their fitness resolutions. Here’s the same treat for you—that’s right fit people, life will continue to be unfair no matter how many crunches you do—we’ll get back on that treadmill next year.

In this DA Weekly Update, Amit Tandon rants about weight loss and Jenny Zigrino rubbishes the body positivity movement. Aakash Mehta drops a teaser, and Siddharth Sudhakar and Abijit Ganguly work the Habitat Mumbai’s crowds. Finally, Vishal Tyagi gives us an in-depth analysis of Shah Rukh Khan’s crying scenes.

1) Amit Tandon – Part 2 – My Weight Loss Journey (Workout Plans)

Amit Tandon has released the second part of his My Weight Loss Journey standup series. While undergoing a lifestyle change, the comedian considers being vegan but has a limit when it comes to eating healthily. Listening to Tandon’s rant might make you rebel on your own diet though, so take this clip with a grain of salt!

2) Aakash Mehta – Life Right Now Part 1

In this short clip, Aakash Mehta teases a standup special Life Right Now that will be releasing on YouTube. The comic sets us up for the special, saying he has reached a point where he can tell funny stories about his life with ease. But the stories he wishes to tell are difficult, because he runs the risk of offending the wrong people. The budhhe jis from his family, and the buddhe jis of the nation. Stay tuned for the second instalment of this promising multi-part special. 

3) Siddharth Sudhakar – Names, Cities & Jobs

In this hilarious crowdwork set, Siddharth Sudhakar puts standup comedy first-timers at the Habitati through the wringer. Sudhakar then gets a Punya Arora-sized left hook from a writer-producer duo before coming back strong by taking down a couple of couples from Delhi. 

4) Vishal Tyagi – Shahrukh Khan and Mohabbatein

Vishal Tyagi says girls fell for Shah Rukh Khan ‘cause he cries pretty and he’s pretty good at it. The puppy-dog eyes, the stuttering, the dimples, even the tears collecting inside the dimples! There isn’t a better crier out there, and Tyagi illustrates his point with examples from Kal Ho Na Ho, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, Mohabbatein and more. 

5) Abijit Ganguly – Kaafi Gujarati Audience

In his latest crowd work set, Abijit Ganguly finds himself in a predominantly Gujarati audience and has such good time firing off one joke after the other that he actually ends up cracking up on stage himself. The cherry on the cake was when he spoke to Maitri, who has an established “bijnes” running since 2014!

6) Jenny Zigrino – F*** Body Positivity

Strap in (or on?) for this Jenny Zigrino standup clip about her thoughts on pegging, self-image, daddy issues and how she’s tired of skinny people trying to hijack the body positivity movement.