The COVID-19 pandemic and lockdowns ensured that we all spent a lot more time glued to our screens than is healthy. Some of us used that time to watch documentaries, attend webinars, or find other means of self-improvement. The rest of us though mostly spent it on Twitter’s infinite scroll of memes and hot takes, trying to connect with the rest of the great procrastinating masses. So without further ado, here’s out list of the top 50 tweets of 2020.
One person in Kashmir has been diagnosed with Corona virus and is put in isolation ward making him the safest person in Kashmir.
— Samay Raina (@ReheSamay) March 9, 2020
Only way to make Bengalis wear a mask pic.twitter.com/1qAEqelLOi
— Abhineet Mishra (@AbhineetMishraa) October 24, 2020
If somebody would have told me Bihar and US election results are due around same time and there are chances that in one of them the people in power simply don't accept the result and cause a civil unrest, I would have totally guessed wrong. But then that's 2020 for you.
— Abijit Ganguly (@AbijitG) November 3, 2020
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) October 21, 2020
when i try to teach my mom over the phone how to attach a file to an email pic.twitter.com/3AeFFKlCe2
— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) April 28, 2020
when someone tells me i dont know true pain i remind them of the time SirGamestop tried to brew his own IPA and gave all the boys Botulism
— wint (@dril) December 7, 2020
Asking my boss for a salary hike in the middle of lockdown. https://t.co/TXJ2plYJbs
— 2020 ki aditi mittal (@awryaditi) December 8, 2020
Whatsapp has started doing a third tick for when Navika Kumar has read your message.
— Abijit Ganguly (@AbijitG) September 22, 2020
I FaceTimed with three different guys today and they all showed me their homemade bread. Is bread the new dick?
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) April 12, 2020
i google "how long until I can get the vaccine" like i open my fridge for food: i know the answer but i hope by looking for the 16th time it will miraculously change
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 14, 2020
The biggest advantage of wearing a mask is that nobody can see you talking to yourself like a crazy person.
— Sahil Shah 🇮🇳 (@SahilBulla) October 29, 2020
Indian mom when their kids asking 'Bachhe kaise hote hain mummy' pic.twitter.com/EacFUC5otK
— Prayag (@theprayagtiwari) August 17, 2020
entering septovember with strong kya hi farak padta hai kaunsa month hai energy
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) September 1, 2020
Tenants to their landlords after Covid pic.twitter.com/Evf665vvTq
— Kim Congdon (@kimberlycongdon) December 6, 2020
Wow! This lockdown might eradicate waxing as a concept.
— Devanshi Shah (@areyohdeva) May 20, 2020
Let’s fast forward right from Christmas to Good Friday bc Jesus deserves to sit this year out.
— CORINNE FISHER (@PhilanthropyGal) December 9, 2020
The Zoom camera adds 20 lbs
— Joe Bartnick (@joebartnick) May 27, 2020
oh nowwww everyone wanna know what introverts do for fun
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 13, 2020
I don't know when the vaccine for coronavirus will come but I'm sure it will be played by Akshay Kumar
— Siddharth Dudeja (@sidudeja) July 15, 2020
If there’s one sentence that sums up 2020, it’s “Joe Exotic asks Kim Kardashian to help him get a pardon from Donald Trump.”
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) December 10, 2020
Conversations with folks who know a lot about Covid. pic.twitter.com/zvQBSAeazt
— Danish Sait (@DanishSait) December 3, 2020
Asked a guy at coffee shop today what his “pandemic pursuits” were. He said, “try to not freak out again.” It was so specific and real, I didn’t know if I should hug him or help him rob Starbucks.
— Adam Ray (@adamraycomedy) July 27, 2020
I think when Tom Hanks doesn’t die, everyone is gonna chill.
— Bill Burr (@billburr) March 13, 2020
Let’s fast forward right from Christmas to Good Friday bc Jesus deserves to sit this year out.
— CORINNE FISHER (@PhilanthropyGal) December 9, 2020
The Zoom camera adds 20 lbs
— Joe Bartnick (@joebartnick) May 27, 2020
You know the lockdown has gone on too long, when you start getting nostalgic about traffic jams.
— Sorabh Pant (@hankypanty) July 4, 2020
Conversations around news in 2020! 📞 pic.twitter.com/3eItblwzze
— Danish Sait (@DanishSait) August 8, 2020
I just arrived at the “my dinner was cereal and whiskey” stage of the pandemic
— Brad Williams (@funnybrad) December 17, 2020
Can’t decide if I should pick up yoga or heroin
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) April 25, 2020
Hugging's gonna feel weird when it's legal again.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 9, 2020
Me realizing I won't be able to blame the pandemic for my unproductivity after it's over pic.twitter.com/IT4UADNP1m
— Pulkit Kochar (@kocharpulkit) December 23, 2020
in retrospect, it was a mistake not being a billionaire before heading into this pandemic
— Emo Philips (@EmoPhilips) December 10, 2020
The pandemic taught me that we never celebrated Halloween in India because here people forget to wear their masks
— Raunaq Rajani (@SirRaunaqRajani) October 31, 2020
Husband: Wooooooow, you look different? So pretty!
— Michelle Buteau (@MichelleButeau) March 26, 2020
Me: I’m just wearing pants that have a zipper. #QuarantineLife 😔
so Zoom and Instagram are the clear winners in all of this right?
— Donwill® (@donwill) March 25, 2020
Professors STOP DOING THIS!!! pic.twitter.com/s89R4nDCcS
— Diabetic of Enlightenment (@dee_bee_h) October 7, 2020
please don't be mad at your body if it gets bigger while keeping you alive during a damn pandemic.
— king crissle (@crissles) May 22, 2020
QUARANTINE SELF-DISCOVERY: I am still regularly late to things even when they don't involve traveling any physical distance
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 25, 2020
Have already started judging people based on whether they say covid-19 or corona
— Sejal Bhat (@ANTISEJAL) March 14, 2020
70%. The Oxford vaccine wouldn't get into Oxford 😋
— Vir Das (@thevirdas) November 23, 2020
We comedians doing Covid jokes will be the next pandemic
— Samay Raina (@ReheSamay) October 22, 2020
When this pandemic ends, we should go back and start afresh from the day we stopped being productive.
— Sapan Verma (@sapanv) May 24, 2020
I propose 1st March 2008.
I can't believe the pandemic was renewed for another season.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2020
People who started dating in the pandemic are like the people who start dating in Big Boss. Pata nahi ghar ke bahar nikalke relationship chalega yaa nahi.
— sumaira shaikh (@sumairashaik) November 24, 2020
Corona ne Science aur religion, Dono ki khoob beizzati kar di hai. Ab bas Arts ka hi sahara hai 🙏
— Zakir Khan (@Zakirism) October 9, 2020
So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" 🤔
— Nishant Suri (@suri_nishant) May 13, 2020
covid was a major win for monogamy
— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) December 13, 2020
This lockdown has taught me how to make a 12 course dinner with maggi, milk and two pieces of old baingan.
— Sorabh Pant (@hankypanty) May 9, 2020
The new strain should be renamed to Coolie No 1
— Sonali Thakker Desai (@SonaliThakker) December 27, 2020
A moment of silence for all that vomit that never met pavement on these Saturday nights we've been indoors.
— Aakash Mehta (@KuchBhiMehta) September 5, 2020
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