X Gon’ Give It To You: The 100 Funniest Tweets Of 2024, Ranked
By
Rohan Krishnan • 26 November 2024
• 5 mins read
Here are our favourite tweets of the year!
First things first, we’re calling the bird app by its birth name—Twitter. Now that that’s out of the way, we’ll get on with the actual party. We take our curation very seriously here at DeadAnt, and so to ensure we’ve distilled only the best of the best shitposts from Elon Musk’s $44 billion porta-potty, we’ve made this an exact science. The equation used to rate each tweet begins with—at the time of viewing—the length of my smile (in centimetres) multiplied by the speed at which air shoots out of my nostrils. This number is then divided by the time of day I viewed the tweet. Extra marks are added for vibes. If any of these are plagiarised from other accounts, consider yourself disqualified.
The tweets are ranked from one to 100. So, without further ado…
100. WAIT A MINUTE GET IT HOW YO… SHUT THE F*** UP!
99. GENUINELY CURIOUS…
98. RESPECT, RESPECT
97. MAYBE NOT, BUT MY UNCLE FOUGHT A POWER RANGER AND WON
96. ICONIC.
95. THIS IS WHY LYING IN BED IS THE BEST HEALTH ACTIVITY
94. VISHAL BHAI IS LOOKING OUT FOR US ALL
93. WE LOVE YOU QUEEN
92. O’SHIT I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT
91. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT FT. ANAND UNCLE
90. I’M COOKED
89. INSERT SHOCKED PIKACHU MEME
88. WE ALL ATTENDED THAT PRE-WEDDING
87. STANDING OVATION FOR THE HEADLINE OF THE YEAR
WHAT IF I JUST DIDN’T NUMBER THIS ONE?
85. HER LEGACY IS JUST HILARIOUS COPY PASTA
84. IF SHE MEETS HIM, CALL ME MR. HAS-BEEN
83. TIMING OVATIONS HAS TO BE THE STRANGEST DEVELOPMENT AT CANNES
82. ART ATTACK!
81. WHEN SHE’S RIGHT, SHE’S RIGHT
80. DO IT FOR THE NINJA TURTLES
79. THE GUY TOOK A HALF-DAY AT ORACLE AND BOWLED OUT VIRAT KOHLI
78. I LOLLED, NGL
77. FIRST GEN MEME TEMPLATES (AND BOURNVITA) WARM MY HEART
76. GOUDA JOKE
75. SUBTLE…
74. IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES (REPHRASED)
73. I ONCE AGAIN ASK YOU TO BELIEVE THAT I’M ALIVE (SOURCE: TRUST ME BRO)
72. OMNOMNOMNOM
71. MOM: WE’VE GOT AURORA BOREALIS AT HOME
70. HE HAD GOLD, SO NO DELIVERY FEE EITHER
69. B-GRADE GATSBY
68. JUST FYI, I’M LACTOSE INTOLERANT (REPHRASED)
67. HAHA YEAH WE’RE FINE
66. NO PARTY? NO RETURN GIFT (NOT FILING MY TAXES)
65. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CAN’T DO EITHER?
64. A TRUE LEGEND
63. THE WORST KINDA CALLBACK
62. LADY AND THE TRAMP BUT IT’S SET IN PALIKA BAZAAR
61. NOW THAT’S HOW YOU DO A DARK JOKE
60. ON THE 16TH? I’M IMPRESSED
59. WILDIN’ OUT
58. FRANCE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO THROW A PARTY
57. SOUNDS LIKE A BAD THYME
56. ON A SIDE NOTE, PEOPLE NEED TO PICK BETTER HANDLES
55. AND SHARE WITH CLASS TOO
54. …YOU’RE DATING?
53. CONFIRM YOU HAD A CHILDHOOD 👇
52. I AM BATA-MAN
51. A BANGER (TWEET)
50. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD TWEET
49. 6’5″ MAN IN FINANCE ORIGIN STORY (REPHRASED)
48. WE HAD HAWK TUAH BEFORE IT WAS COOL
47. CHIVALRY ISN’T DEAD
46. “SOFA, SO GOOD” – J.D. VANCE (REPHRASED)
45. GUESS I KNOW WHO STOLE THAT THESAURUS
44. NEED MYSELF A MENTAL HEALTH DAY
43. STAND TALL, SHORT KINGS
42. WHAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF DEMURE AND MINDFUL?
41. BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT, BRUH
40. BAKU TO THE DRAWING BOARD
39. MEN ONLY THINK OF ONE THING
38. YES, SENSEI
37. TOO ACCURATE
36. FRIENDS SHOULD’VE BEEN SHOT IN A LAUNDROMAT
35. MAEMDA, OHH MAEMDI
34. *SHUDDERS*
33. SIMPLER TIMES? I THINK NOT.
32. PREMISE, SETUP AND PUNCHLINE
31. CAN WE TAKE A 5 MINUTE BREATHER PLS
30. ALSO KNOWN AS THE US MEN’S NATIONAL CRICKET TEAM
29. BILINGUAL BANGER
28. THE HERO DESERVE WE
27. NOT SURE IF IMPRESSED OR WORRIED
26. GET IT HOW YOU LIVE IT
25. NOW I TURN ON MY LAPTOP THIS WAY
24. I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN
23. WHAT THEY’RE THINKING OF WHEN THEY SIGH
22. BETTER THAN S*X
21. NO FR
20. I KNEW IT!
19. DISGUSTING!
18. SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS A MOVIE
17. HE’S GREEDY TOO. SMH
16. THAT’S THE TWEET.
15. BURJWAZY (REPHRASED)
14. BEAUTIFUL AND INCLUSIVE
13. AND EAT IT ON CHEWSDAY, INNIT?
12. DON’T THINK, JUST SHARE THIS TWEET
11. THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IN A SEPARATE GC BTW
10. TIME TO GET THAT ANNUAL FULL BODY CHECKUP, BUD
9. SOME PROS, SOME KHANS (REPHRASED)
8. WHAT A LEGEND
7. PERSONAL ATTAC
6. CAN YOU HEAR THIS TWEET TOO?
5. CUE SUCCESSION THEME SONG
4. HAS OXFORD MADE THIS A WORD YET?
3. IT’S JUST SALT, BAE
2. I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS
1. THIS TWEET NEEDS TO BE STUDIED (WE’VE DONE IT)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rohan Krishnan
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